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Fat Bloke on Tour

RN Fleet Weapons Acceptance test firing?

Do we have special electrons?
Is the guy in charge called Thomas?
Are we special — in a good way?
Does it involve lawyers?
What is the cost?

Not a good look — stinks of obtuse paper shufflers wanting their day in the sun.

No wonder Donny John gets an audience?

Paul lilley

You know…….

GRA

Quite agree.

Fat Bloke on Tour

Somerset — mech issues / in the garage getting fixed.
Portland — no missiles / in the garage getting something done.
Richmond — fingers crossed that the NSSM isn’t a Jonah for the RN.

Not a good look.

Andrew Deacon

T23 life expectancy increased – not a good look
T26 and T31 ordered very late – not a good look

Fat Bloke on Tour

Fair point — but if you are on top of your game service lives can be managed.

Users work to what the platform can do.

Service people know what to look for.

We seem to be bullet magnets — surprises everywhere.

Andrew Deacon

Argyll, Westminster and Northumberland written off during refit – there’s only so much you can manage!

Fat Bloke on Tour

Their condition shouldn’t have come as a surprise.

That is the main issue — we don’t know what we are dealing with.

Too many examples to be bad luck.

Failure of design and asset management in equal part.

Jon

Should we have scheduled a hull inspection of Richmond right now to plan for the state she’ll be in on return? She’ll have done as much as Westminster and Northumberland by then, and at least that way we’d be able to plan ahead of time if this deployment is her swansong.

Supportive Bloke

Not really.

T23 had a design hull life of 18 years to keep through life costs down.

Other than construction the other ‘economy’ is in the way it is maintained [allowed to deteriorate] as it was never meant to have a mid life refit.

So various thing were deliberately not periodically done as they were not in the manual.

LIFEXing T23 was from desperation of not having anything else and G Osborne not listening to good advice and being obsessed with flattening his short term cash flow curve.

Russ

‘Failure of design’? They are significantly beyond the service life originally requested by the RN. The fact they are still going is testament to the original design and build. Damn good ships, wish I’d served in more than one of them.

dave

Westminster and Northumberland were never in refit, they were laid up pending refit, but never started them and Argyll had almost completed hers – and is now likely to be sold to an overseas navy.

Paul42

Argyll could and should have been re-commissioned, they’re actively looking to sell her abroad now.

Paul42

Somerset was at sea very recently ( March) escorting a Russian corvette through the channel.

Hugo

Yes but it had a lot of issues before

dave

Exactly, she is participating in Cobra Warrior right now – not in a shed

dave

Somerset is in Norway not in the garage, she is participating in Cobra Warrior as we speak

Fat Bloke on Tour

Fair point — I think we get the message x 2.
The earlier article had the ship in the garage after getting the new missiles.
Not a good look but it would appear to be the new norm.

Jonno

Have the Russians got a S/H tug we can Beg , Borrow or Steal? Maybe Trump can pull some strings.

Martin

The slow progress is all about budget constraints. The government talk of an increase in spending but this will only be six billion pounds a year by 2027.
In the meantime the navy as to stay within ut annual budget spend.

Fat Bloke on Tour

We need to spend the current budget better as a kick off towards rearmament.

More resources into our current moneypits will get us nowhere.

Ukraine — Russia’s build economics are 4 times better than the West’s.

We cannot rely on their poor tactics and personnel deficiencies for ever.

They will find their new Zhukov eventually.

Jon

There’s a little more budget this coming year (about £800m), but with the increasing spend on nuclear, I doubt any of it will get to the surface fleet.

Fat Bloke on Tour

Regarding surface fleet spend — are we just spending lots of money in dribs and drabs fixing design and build issues?

Vibe would appear to be very much fire fighting rather than fire prevention.
If it is then nowhere near best practice / not even close.

Then you have the base point on the MOD’s understanding of value and its ability to get UK MIC to deliver at this level and beyond.

Contractor friendly artisan levels of build quality and productivity are not a good look — craftmanship being the ability to join two shonky / non spec parts together and deliver an initial level of performance but not something to boast about.

Outsider looking in — MOD / RN are wee boys in a man’s world.
Other worldly / all must win prizes / over analysis with poor foundations.
Money draining away / glacial delivery with little to show for it

Sean

Obviously we are not just “spending lots of money in dribs and drabs fixing design and build issues”.

Or have you not heard of the Type 26 and Type 31 build programmes?
Not to mention the NSM upgrades, Sea Ceptors for T45 upgrades, etc.

Fat Bloke on Tour

Budget management involves everything — including the nasty surprises that seem to catch us unawares from time to time.

Then there is the concept of value — are we getting any bang for our many bucks.

Ships at sea vs total spend — not looking good.

Jon

That’s lack of build continuity for you. We stopped building new frigates for 18 years and when we restarted we deliberately chose to go slowly. Really bad from the value standpoint and the fault of the government and HMT, rather than the Navy. I think we’ll eventually get some bang for our buck but we could have done a lot better for the same money.

Supportive Bloke

It is the reverse of the Army ‘song’…..DNE ate my fleet….

Given how tight things are relatively small amounts allow things to proceed.

Otterman

If about 2.25 years for the first 3 ships (and no test) is the ‘at pace’ rate, I hope the remaining 8 sets aren’t at much slower pace!

Paul42

Surprised they haven’t fitted a set to a Type 45 ( Dauntless?) Yet.

Andrew Deacon

Not much use in a dry dock!

Hugo

3 aren’t in a drydock

Fat Bloke on Tour

Best dressed man in Cov style boast.
“All but three of our fleet of AAW kit are available to sail”.

Reminds me of an old Jag joke from the US.
High dollar / they were cheap to the Country Club set so you could buy 2.
One to drive and one to leave in the workshop when it broke down.

At some point we will get back to doing real engineering.
Minor miracle they even float.

Paul T

Dragon will be the first, she has had the Deck Mounting work done.

Supportive Bloke

The deck mounting work, and stripping the Harpoon cabinets etc, can be done during normal insertion periods.

Overall this is a very lethargic installation that does not reflect well on management as this is a high visibility system. You sense a small team of people totally overwhelmed managing T45 PiP and upgrades and the serial issues with the T23’s without the resources or bandwidth to cope this this.

By resources I mean skilled people. Skilled people who are booked into weld the deck mounts get diverted to weld something else that needs patching up on a T23….that is my sense of this…..juggling really.

dave

Dauntless almost sank last year during Joint Warrior, she had to take shelter in The Firth of Forth to make her seaworthy before heading to Newcastle for hull work. Suprised she is actually part of CSG tbh.

martin

a bit difficult that when she was refitting, checked the Royal navy site.
She talk part in exercises in October and November 2024, her last entry before that December 2023. Joint Warrior 24 was held in February 24 to March 4 2024,

Sean

Telling porkies…

Jason

Something DOGE should get interested in.

Sean

(a) this is not America

(b) DOGE has its handfuls tracking down and rehiring the employees it fired without knowing what they did – Nuclear Weapon Specialists at NNSA, outbreak response staff at CDC, bird-flu epidemic response staff at Dept of Agriculture, etc etc.

AlexS

(a) it once was…and when UK dominated industries was not this afraid.

(b)I am sure you will also find that US also have many more companies that go bust proportionally, but they also have many more that make their impact in the world.

Fat Bloke on Tour

Lots can happen in 30 years.

Wasn’t the Type 23 supposed to have some level of stealth in its design.
HMS Richmond in the picture looks like some sort of maritime bog brush.

Not a great advert for MOD / RN delivery and lifecycle design.
Just stick on new features anywhere you can find space.

Also F239 — has this number been used before?

Irate Taxpayer (Peter)

“Wasn’t the Type 23 supposed to have some level of stealth in its design”.

FBOT

  • YES, quite correct, the T23 did have an element of stealth orginally designed into it
  • So, according to the offical RN publicity material printed (note 1) at about that time the orginal t23 radar signiture “approximated to about the size of a fishing boat”
  • However a BIG BUT

Back In the mid 1980’s – so forty odd years ago, when Mr Scargill was King Coal – when the T23 was being orginally designed (using quill pens on parchment) noboby here in the UK was aware of the huge leap that Lockheed’s Stunk Works had achieved in stealth technology

…….: with their development of the F117 Nighthawk stealth figher bomber.

so, throughout the 1980’s, the F117 was a top secret “special access required” development programme = therfore not even most senior of the USAF generals knew about the development that quite-revolutionary warplane.

However, as you have quite rightly point out (just above), since the 1990’s the RN has got into the very nasty habit of welding lots of bits of old junk onto the outside of their ships = without thinking twice about the very detrimental efffect that has on a T23’s radar signiture.

Peter (Irate Taxpayer)

Note 1

  • Printing”
  • a mass communications technique orginally invented by the Germans….
  • it involves using lots of very flammable “paper” and then horredously expensive “printers ink”.
  • then it gets thrown away…..
  • Printing was supposed to have been abolished by Big Tech
  • whom, around about the same time as the T23 was first developed, promised us “paperless offices”
  • which has had about as much sucess as their more recent, and long promised, “driverless cars”….
  • PS
  • The situation is even worse on the outside of two new QE carriers superstructures – which have now got “very unstealthy” staircases fitted up the outside of their tall islands 😢 (and Big Tech…….: why can’t I find a proper thumbs down emoji??????)
  • and, just to really boost the hostile radar signal straight back to an enemy’s radar receiver – the RN has also fitted, at vast expense, an aftermarket sundeck (i.e. veranda) just directly below the QE’s parnoramic bridge windows 😒
  • Queen Elizabeth class carriers – A symbol of military power
  • obviously fitted such that officers of the watch can take their sundowners outdoors to view the South China Sea later this year, – and with a cooling breeze over the veranda (sorry I meant to say just then AWODA – Adjusted Wind over Deck Airspeed)
  • or, in times of war – which (hopefully!) will not be later this year – to watch an incoming chinese o Yemanii (Houthi) made ASM spill their drinks – i.e. when it wizzes straight in – directly at them – at supersonic speeds
  • frankly, both the stairs and officers sundeck / veranda on outside of the QE class carriers really ought to be the feature of some quite-urgent defence cuts = preferably using big oxy-acetylene torches👍👍👍👍
  • and then the sloping plates ground down – FLAT 👍👍👍
Fat Bloke on Tour

Not sure the F117 is a great example of anything — service life measured in lettuces.

Law of unintended consequences — mobiles phones were supposed to be about personal communication not passive airspace detection arrays.

Might be a shaggy dog story — but once you knew what to look for you could track a F117 by its impact / influence on an old school “analogue” mobile phone network.

If you could track it then the F117 was toast on account of its poor flight dynamics and lack of performance.

File under flash in the pan.

QE handrail fetish — hopefully not everything that is painted grey is steel.
However the QE design vibe was double bad honking from the off.
Little chance that they got the minor details correct.

Irate Taxpayer (Peter)

Fat Bloke on Tour

Wrong!

  • (on several key counts)

During Gulf War 1 – i.e. the last really big shooting match when we were up against a very well prepared enemy…..

…..the F117 was the only manned allied aircraft allowed to attack the very heavily defended targets inside Bagdad…..a very big city which, back in 1991, was ringed by about three thousand triple A gun sites and about fifteen thousand AAD missiles

(the only other thing that got through was the Tomahawk cruise missle – which was flying low through the back alleys: whilst reading the Bagdad A-to Z map, and swervng to avoid the Big Issue salemen siiting on the streetcorners)

Thus the F117 had a quite incredible record for “hitting the mark”: both on

  • hitting high valve targets with smart bombs (PGM’s)
  • and SEAD (note 2)

————————

However the F117 was a low observable (stealth) plane and ….

Nobody ever claimed it was invisible!

———————-

So, in the former Yugoslavia, one was shoot down down:.

I am afraid that, in war, “S**T happens

(or – to use the official term – “no plan survives first contact with the enemy“)

and thus, after he had hiked home, the USAF’s F117 pilot was sent a memorial tie: by the Martin Baker Company of Dehham in leafy Buckinghamshire

You will have read on the internet the conspiracy theory about that jet being shot down by a Nokia mobile phone (note 1). That theory was printed in several UK national newspapers soon after the downing…

The truth was far more simple…..

The very intensive Soviet era Yugo air defence centre had noted a very regular pattern of very predictable behaviour – i.e. the USAF flying the same routes in and out to the same general target area – over the previous week (or so)

and so the Yugo’s simply moved plenty of their mobile AAD teams onto that route one night = so then then they got lucky (as Clint E famous said “Make my Day!”

————

And the seventy odd F117’s which were phased out of USAF service – simply because it was old – and also it was also being rapidly replaced by its long-planned sucessor- the F22 and also, more recently, the F35. (both also by Lockheed: now called Lockheed Martin (which is no relation whatosever to the aforementioned British ejection seat company)

because that “planned obsolescence” does happen to warplanes which were designed way back in the late 1970’s / early 1980’s (ie the “sell by” date on your lettuce’s yellow sticker!)

(think RAF Tornado – which was repeatedly shot down over far less well defended targets in iraq back in 199! – thus the Bagdad Hilton was not bombed by the F117. and of course = the RAF subsequently received many more ties than the USAF F117 crews ever did …)

—————

And of course, in the mid 1990’s, the USAF B2 batwing bomber was brought into full service……

……once Whieman AFB had completely redesigned its vast B2 hangers – with upward firing fire fighting nozzles cast in the concrete floor slab.

and, lets not forget, a low observable B2 was “downed” in Guam ($2 billion!!)

= by an AAD system called “excessive condensation”… (aka friendly fire)

————–

And if you want truely invisible flying machine for deployment with the RAF and RN by 2030, I will – for a suitably large design fee paid directly into my unlisted and numbered Swiss bank account – quickly design you the right airframe for a very low observable flying saucer.

However would you mind then supplying me with

  • the “free issue” alien propulsion system
  • and manual for the out-of-this-world set of avionics (aka flight controls)

Peter (Very Irritated Taxpayer)

  • Note 1.
  • Nokia always had a poor reputation throughout the UK AAD and AAM communities …..unlike some other Swedish made AAD and AAM systems
  • especially those made by SAAB, which are excellent!
  • Note 2
  • SEAD: Suppression of Enemy Air Defences: something both Russian AF and Ukarinian AF have both really struggled with over the past three years
  • = which is why so many non-stealthly warplanes are being shot down over the trenches (often without the issuing of a Martin Baker tie afterwards…)
Jonno

Its disappointing there isn’t an Admirals walk round the stern. Flagships always had them.

Sean

👎🏻

Irate Taxpayer (Peter)

Sean

This time around you have claerly read it (i.e. before giving it the thumbs down!)

So that can only mean my posts are, after plenty of rrecent practice, constantly improving!

Peter (Irate Taxpayer)

Jonathan

There really is a very big different between stealth in a ship and an aircraft..stealth on ships is really sort of secondary as they will normally be hidden by the radar horizon… which for another ship is about 25 km .. at that point most decent radar will burn through stealth anyway..

Supportive Bloke

T23 was supposed to have radar signature of a medium sized trawler. More specifically they were designed to give radar returns that didn’t look like a warship.

The idea of enclosing everything with sloping sides, like T45, etc was around but nobody was building that in the late 1980’s when T23 matured.

T23 was built far too small so lots of things were stuck on externally….

I’d actually come to a different conclusion looking close up : T23’s look amazingly well kept and well detailed for their design through life age.

Dave G

Bankrupt country, no money for anything , no idea what is done with taxes. The beautiful Royal Navy is just barely afloat, really sad and for the country just plain dangerous.

Irate Taxpayer (Peter)
  • “HMS Richmond recently visited Haakonsvern Naval Base in Bergen, Norway where she received the missile canisters directly from the nearby Kongsberg factory”. 

All

Last autumn – so back when the last article was posted here on NL about this all-new (note 1) Norweigian Strike Missile (NSM)……..

…..some of you may remember that I suggested – very very seriously – that the next “ship set” of NSM canisters got fitted to the next T23 by the manufacturers up in Norway

(i.e. so well away from Baby Cock-Ups scrapyard down in Devonport)

So the really news today – buried in amoungst all of the really bad news feeds (or no news) – is that somebody senior in the RN is now reading this website…… and, even better, taking our advice…..

  • ……..i.e. the website which used to be called “Save the Royal Navy”

Accordingly, I believe that the editor should really have titled this article:

  • March 2025: The RN’s procurement department has just done something right!
  • Peter (Irate Taxpayer)

Note 1. Clarification – that should have just read “all new to the RN” = because this highly effective long-ranged ship killing missile has actually been in service with other navies for about a decade

Sean

Best let the shipyards know that given they’re all busy working on building new frigates and submarines…

F minus on your trolling, must do better to avoid being sent to the Kursk Front

Jason

They should retain NSM for the Type 31s.

Paul Scott

Typical of the UK government no matter who’s in power at the moment they never do things in the right way instead they’d rather do anything 10 times as difficult as it should be

Duker

The RN and the defence ministry deal with these sort matters not the ‘government level’.